Grieving Who You Used to Be

 

There’s a quiet grief that accompanies growth.
It’s not loud.
It doesn’t always show up in obvious ways.
But it lingers in the in-between moments, in the soft sighs, and in the space between who you were and who you're becoming.

It’s the ache of letting go of the woman you used to be.
The one who kept herself small to avoid conflict.
Who silenced her voice to feel accepted.
Who overextended herself, hoping to finally feel worthy.

You may not always recognize it as grief.
But it’s there.
In the heaviness that comes with unexpected tears.
In the tug of nostalgia for a version of you that no longer fits.
In the bittersweet pride of becoming stronger and realizing what it cost to get here.

 The truth is: she was doing the best she could.
She carried burdens quietly.
She gave more than she had.
She stayed in spaces that no longer served her, out of love, hope, fear or all three.

She wasn’t a mistake.
She was a survivor.
She was a placeholder for the woman you're now becoming.
And her presence in your life was not wasted; she was necessary.

But now you’re different.
You’ve started to listen to your intuition.
You’ve begun to honor your needs, set boundaries, speak kindly to yourself, and reclaim parts of your soul that were buried under years of people-pleasing and self-doubt.

Still, growth comes with its own kind of sadness.

It’s okay to miss her even if you no longer want to be with her.
It’s okay to feel tender as you shed those old skins.
You are allowed to grieve her and still outgrow her.

Allow yourself to fully feel the weight of that transition.
Honor who she was.
Thank her for getting you through.
And then, with grace and courage, release her with love.

You’re not betraying her 
You’re evolving beyond what once kept you safe but small.
You’re rising into who you were always meant to be:
Wiser. Softer. More grounded. More whole.

💬 Reflection Prompts

• What part of your past self are you struggling to release?
• How did she protect you, serve you, or carry you through hard times?
• What would it look like to thank her and gently let her go?
• Where are you noticing new growth, even if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable?

🌸 Gentle Thought:

Grieving doesn’t mean you regret who you were; it means you’re brave enough to grow beyond her.
Give yourself permission to evolve with compassion.
You can carry love for your past self while still making room for the woman you’re becoming.